This post is a little different. DISCLAIMER… this is in NO way for ‘attention’ I will explain my reasons for doing this throughout the post. I have been trapped inside myself for almost 19 years now and I finally just want to come out (no pun intended) and say it. I’m Bisexual.
I am doing this as a blog post because I am tired of hiding away. I want to be able to be myself and not worry about who is looking or what people will think of me. I am tired of speculation about my sexuality. I was bullied for years by people saying “you obviously like girls” or “you’ve never had a boyfriend, you must be a lesbian” etc etc and it really got to me. I always knew I liked girls but I was battling with my own mind and people saying these comments wasn’t helping me on the journey to find myself. For the last few years as I’ve gotten older and I’ve been thinking more more the battle within myself continued. I tried telling myself that it was just like a “girl crush” that everyone has and deny who I was. I was pushing these feelings away and trying to act like they didn’t exist. Recently I’ve finally been able to fully accept myself for who I am and I want to share myself with everyone else and not hide anymore. This is the real me. Yes I also like girls but what difference does that make? Who I find attractive should have no effect on anyone else. I hate that I’ve hidden away for so long due to the fear of how I would be treated. Now that I have finally given myself time to be comfortable within myself it is time to put this out there. The reason I am doing this so publicly is because I have a fear. A fear that if I keep this to myself much longer that I will revert back to my old ways and disappear back inside myself denying all my feelings again and thats the last thing I want to happen. I finally want to be able to be happy and open so this is it. Now you all know.
Speaking from my own experience feeling trapped inside your own mind is an absolutely horrible feeling and my anxiety has been through the roof recently. I want you to know that if you are reading this and you are feeling similar things, whether it be in regards to sexuality or something else, I am here and you can always talk to me if you need a friendly chat or some support. I am not a professional whatsoever I just want to help people feel less alone.
My sexuality does not define me as a person but it is a part of me that I don’t want to keep locked away anymore more.